the jolly season

I love this time of year. For me all that is missing is winter, and maybe even snow - the way I think this season is supposed to be.

I love everything about it - the tree, the carols, and even the movies. I am happy this time of year, but also a little sad at times that another year has passed. This year is no different I guess, although I have been looking forward to it more than other years. I am looking forward to spending some real quality time with my boy over the holidays, and enjoying Christmas with him.

I have just felt that I needed this year to end, with everything that has happened. I felt as though with the year coming to an end, so will all the issues in terms of health, and that next year may be a bit easier. Looking back at this year I seem to remember too much bad things, and in a way if I had to sum the year up it would go something like this:

Tired, swollen optical nerve, failed FET, loss of sense of smell, headaches, swollen parotid glands incorrectly diagnosed as mumps, cranial nerve VII palsy (diagnosed as Bell's Palsy), going to the doctor way too often, diagnosed with sarcoidosis based on SACE and chest x-ray showing lung involvement, second MRI (this time with contrast) showing swelling of right temporal lobe and the cribiform plate area, treatment started (steroids and methotrexate), waking up to my son's right year bleeding (granuloma), return of the ear issues, having to redo grommets, and then waking up this weekend to his left ear bleeding...

Now there has been some good in terms of the health too - my SACE levels has improved and I have been weaned of steroids completely, my HBA1c has gone back to below 7% (after increasing to above this for the first time since before falling pregnant).

I know it could be a lot worse, and I am not want to seek sympathy for anything that we or I have had to go through. I do not deny the fact that at times it is hard, but we cope, and honestly, it really could be a hell of a lot worse.

But... not for me, but for my boy - I hope that if this is a granuloma again it will be sorted before this year ends and that next year we will not need to deal with it again. It is scary waking to blood on a pillow that is coming from your son’s ear. I hope that the short term grommet in his left year does not get pushed out by the granuloma, and that it lasts a full year. I hope the long terms grommet stays put in his right ear and does the job it is there to do well. (He had to have a long term grommet inserted into this ear, as during the procedure it was discovered that his right drum had completely retracted - no air between the drum and middle ear).

And for me - a lung x-ray showing no worsening in my lungs in a couple of weeks, a good SACE level, and good lung functions test results (like the last time)

So that was a whole lot about health, and not much about the jolly season...