Wednesday, December 8, 2010

3am awakenings

At just before 3am we heard some wimpering from his room.  My husband went to see and it seemd he had lost his dummy and was trying to find it again.  He did not find it quick enough, so he woke up and started crying.  And that was it...  he would not go back to sleep.  We were so tired, so we once again did the unthinkable - put him in bed with us, hoping that he would fall back to sleep quite quickly.  He is such a rough sleeper though - and it took him so long to find his "spot".  Oh, the joys....

Monday, December 6, 2010

as the year is coming to an end

I hate year ends. I am not really sure why – I get sad sometimes (not for any particular reason), and mostly I feel as though I was supposed to accomplish something more during the year than I had. On the other hand, I do not do New Year resolutions – mainly because in the past when I did I never or hardly ever kept to them. They were silly ones really, maybe that was why. This year I feel a bit different. I think I was just too overwhelmed last year to feel anything – I still had a small baby, meaning less sleep, and was still trying to find my place in the whole motherhood journey. I don’t know if I have found that place yet though!

I do have some feeling of regret this year – but too be honest not much. I am not that sad that the year has ended, but rather excited to experience Christmas with my boy (last year did not really count....), and excited about what the New Year holds for my family. There are some things I should have done but didn’t, but I will let this pass, and concentrate on what I can achieve next year. And maybe I should rethink those resolutions, and maybe make a few this time round.

But for now I will start to think about my break – which starts in just a week and a half! Cannot wait to spend all that time with the little boy who goes “Ahhh” when mommy yawns :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

first birthdays, grommets, teeth, metformin

So a few things have happened since my last post....

The boy turned 1 – WHAT?!! When did that happen? I could not believe that the year has gone by so fast. It brought back lots of memories – memories of his sudden delivery, his stint in the NICU, the start of my maternity leave, how crap I was actually feeling all that time, trying to sit after a c-section, hospital, hospital, and going home for the first time with a baby. All in all it has been a great year I think, it was hard (very hard at times), but I would not change anything...

After another couple of ear infections we had surgery done a couple of week ago. He had grommets put into both ears, and the doctor also did some type of sinus sweep / wash out. Luckily his adenoids were fine, so these could stay put . And all I can say is that a baby waking up after anaesthetic is not fun at all – I have never heard him scream like that! But he did really well afterwards I think. I spent most of the week home with him, which was a bit of fun.

Just before seeing the ENT we had a 1 year follow-up hearing test. He had no problems with his test at hospital, and I had not noticed anything amiss, so I thought it was going to be a breeze. However they picked up some issues with his right ear, but this was most likely due to fluid in his year because of all the infection he had been having. So on the 21st we head back to the audiologist for a follow-up. I am pretty sure that this one will be fine.

He is growing well. Another two teeth made their appearance the week of the 15th of November. They are HUGE! (top 2). On Monday I noticed that his top right lateral incisor has also cut through. He has really been great with this whole teething experience, and I hope this will continue! We hardly know when there is anything going on in there until it has basically cut through the gum. Yesterday he also bit me (it was my own fault...), and actually drew a little bit of blood! Little vampire!

Still crawling as though for an Olympic medal, and cruising all along the furniture. He is now able to stand unaided, but does not do it too often. He loves clapping his hands together, which is really cute. I love how he can understand so much already – when I ask him to clap (without showing any hand movements) he will (although at times he just looks at me and laughs), and when I ask him to kiss me he gives me a nice sloppy version of his own on my mouth (I love him!!).

Diabetes has gotten the better of me a few times, but things seemed to have settled down again. I started metformin last night (500mg Glucophage XR). I have not had any uncomfortable symptoms yet, so I hope it stays that way. Going to be interesting to see how it is going to be affecting my insulin requirements over the next few weeks.

And in two weeks I start my holiday! CANNOT wait. I am only having about 2 weeks off, and unfortunately my husband will be working over the festive period. I am going to have to be well prepared for my little guy, as he has become extremely busy lately...

Friday, October 22, 2010


This past week I have been remembering and thinking a lot about the past year, and also about last year this time.  I cannot actually believe how vivid some of my memories of last year are, and I hope that they will remain so.

Last year, on this Friday, our team was having a team build day.  we are a small permanent team, with a few people based in our offices in Joburg.  They would all arrive that morning for a day of - wine and chocolate tasting and cellar tour, lunch on a wine farm, painting in the afternoon, and a show and dinner in the evening.

I was also 33 weeks pregnant.  Starting to get really excited and looking forward to the birth of my son, and the start of my maternity leave - I could no longer make it through the day!  I had had a pretty uneventful pregnancy up until then.  Besides the constant battle to keep my blood glucose numbers as normal as possible I did not have much else going on.  Or so I thought.  (I don't count anterior placenta or RH negative blood)  But I had also experienced bad headaches (I want to say severe, but I never complained, so lets leave it at bad....), disturbed vision (I know, this should have been some sort of sign that something was not right, but I put the flashing lights to possibly having blood glucose drops or something.  they were always accompanied by a headache too).  My blood glucose levels had been pretty steady throughout - with just a slight increase in insulin during the second trimester, and then my needs stayed pretty stable (yet another sign...)  But this morning I woke swollen (I had had minimal swelling up till then) - my shoes would not fit.  It was slightly painful walking.  But, pregnant women swell up, don't they.  So off to work I went.  By then my PE must have been pretty bad already.  I had had an OBGYN appointment about 1.5/2 weeks before and all was normal.  No protein at all, and BP was within the normal range.  In that 2 weeks I had to visit the dentist twice to have a filling that fell out put back in - apparently my gums were quite swollen (most likely due to the pregnancy, but in hindsight, this was also probably something to do with PE).  I now think of this day as the day the PE "won".

I had no idea that in just a short few days I would be meeting my son.  I continued to work on the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday - the day he came, after a scheduled OBGYN appointment where my protein levels were found to be sky high, and the blood pressure was more than 200 over 134.

1 year, I cannot believe it...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

the week that's been

We have had an interesting week to say the least.  I got a call one day last week that C was running a fever, so off home it was for me with sick baby.  He seemed much better a couple of hours later, just a bit clingy.  But then at about 16:00/30 his fever hit forty.  Our paed was on vacation, so it was either finding a GP or the ER.  We opted for N's uncle again...  I had also then just noticed that he had some discharge from his one eye, which was also slightly red.  Conjunctivitis (other eye followed when we were at pharmacy collecting his meds) and another ear infection.  Breaks my heart when my darling is in pain...

Work has been busy, but (since this morning) it is good busy.  I have removed myself from a project I had become involved in.  It was just going to take up way too much time, and I was concerned that eventually it would become a bit too much - our department is really small, and at times we get really tight deadlines.

I have been shopping for a birthday present, and have seen a few things I like.  Hopefully this weekend I will get that all done!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Healthy, but with some changes

So my endo appointment went well.  HbA1c has not budged - well not much anyway.  Sitting comfortably at 6.2% (6.1% last time round), which I am extremely happy with.  My aim is to try staying on the lower side of the 6s.  Anything lower will not be realistic for me.  All other tests came back normal.  So at the moment I am tired and healthy I guess.

Changes are to be made over the next month or so.  I am going to once again attempt basal testing - although I have actually effectively done this already.  The plan now is to get those basals done, and then add Metformin (the extended release one) to the mix.  Make adjustments from there and see how things go.

And then I want to start some other lifestyle changes.  It is going to be slow, but I need to make a few.  Probably start off with packing lunch every day to avoid unhealthy lunches during the week.  Try making more time for cooking to avoid more unhealthy eating that way...  And then I need to add some sort of exercise.

I have decided to give the exam a miss.  It was a difficult decision to make, but I am feeling quite relieved with it off my shoulders.  The plan now is to postpone registering for my thesis next year to the following too.  Kaitake - I am registered for a Masters in Futures Studies (MPhil Futures Studies).  I have completed most of the degree already as there is a lot of coursework involved.  Outstanding now is the exam and my thesis.

Marcia, I need to look at how I am spending my time.  I have to admit though that I probably did not expect a baby to take up that much time...

Another Joburg trip is on the cards.  Another 3 nights away from home.  I am, again, not sure how I feel about this.  This is mainly because of my feelings about the project, and some reservations regarding being on it.  But that is a whole other story...

Monday, October 4, 2010

dreaded testing, bad bad CGMS, and weekend thoughts

So today I will go for the dreaded HbA1c - and I can honestly say I am not looking forward to it.  I am also not looking forward to the appointment where I need to discuss what has been happening with my numbers these past few months, how (when I am really honest with myself) I have been struggling to keep it all together, and how I am probably not eating the way I should be.  I can find a lot of things to blame, mostly the lack of time, but to be honest I have to start prioritising and making lists or something.  this weekend I had some real wonky numbers - nothing too bad, just strange peaking etc (watching the CGMS...).  I also realised late last week that the CGM, although a very useful tool, can be a little "too much".  As in too much information all of the time.  While I enjoy being able to have that close a look at my numbers, and having the opportunity to fix mistakes and really see and learn patterns, I became way too over eager to correct high blood sugars (or what I thought was leading up to very high numbers), causing a rebound low soon afterward.  I actually turned the sensor off for a few hours over the weekend after nearly a day of constant blood sugar yo-yoing...

The weekend was over way too quick.  I so much enjoy spending the time with my husband and son.  We had a picnic yesterday, but cut it a bit short when the weather turned a bit cold.  We have just a few weeks before the birthday too!  We have decided we may go away for the weekend.  No final plans yet.

I am battling a bit with a decision / non-decision at the moment.  I am registered to write an exam this year - I missed it last year due to the early arrival of C.  I thought that coping with just the exam this year would be fine - I cancelled my registration for the thesis earlier during the year.  But now that the date is arriving faster than I could ever have imagined I am starting to stress - way too much.  I know that I am the only one to blame for my lack of commitment - because that is really what it has been this year.  I keep blaming the fact that I have no time for anything, but as I mentioned before I really need to start working on that.  So now I am sitting here, contemplating just not writing it - because what is the point in wasting the next 4 weeks trying to study, when I know that it is probably not nearly enough time to manage it all.  I have been having a lot of internal battles about the course.  At times now getting really angry and frustrated (at myself) for even registering for the damn thing in the first place.  I HATE feeling this way.  Probably not helping with all the blood sugars struggles either!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

basal testing aaaaargh!

I have yet to wear a sensor for the full 6 days (there I was thinking I will even push beyond!).  I inevitably forget that it is there, and then manage to knock it out - either with darling C when playing around, or just banging into stuff.  Very expensive I tell you!  And then yesterday I tried all day in vain to get a sensor connected, but the pump would just not cooperate.  eventually had to ditch that one too.  Must have been a dud one, because this morning's one connected just fine.  And I thought that I could finally get going with my afternoon basal test!  Boy was I wrong, as my blood sugar has other ideas.  I delayed breakfast a bit and my 2 hour spike of 12 kept rising and rising, so I had to correct and I had reached my "cut off time".  I am a bit disappointed.  hopefully tomorrow will go better - but I am opting for a different slightly higher protein breakfast.  Hope that will do the trick (oh no, just realised I have a work lunch / snack function... well, will see how I feel in the morning).

I hope to get some things done before I see my Endo.  I have finally mustered up the courage and will make an appointment.  On Monday I will go for bloods - HbA1c.  And some additional - thyroid, a full blood count and ESR, and iron studies.  I have had iron issues in the past, and was suspecting it may be what is causing slightly more than usual tiredness at the moment (although it could also just be stress or something....).

While I am not much of a hot summer gal, I am really welcoming the warmer weather.  Makes for better outings over weekends with C.  He loves the swing, so any opportunity I get I put him in one.  He just smiles and giggles up at me.  Too cute!

1 months to go before the big 1!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

a little update

I cannot believe that in just about a week C will be a whole 11 months old. It has been, but far, the most exciting, tiring, happy, scary (and a whole load of other emotions) year of my life.

My boy is growing well. He now weighs about 9.2/3kg (he was 9.1 about 2 weeks ago, so that is my guestimate....), and about 73cm long, from his 2.3kg and 45cm birth weight and length. He is crawling ALL over the place (started crawling at about 9 months), and standing and cruising around the furniture. Cannot believe how fast they are able to crawl! He cut his first two teeth on his 10th month birthday, and so far there are no signs of the other teeth at all.

He is sleeping well, except when he is blocked up. Goes to bed about 19:00 and up at about 06:00. He is doing great at the daycare, and seems to love playing with the other little ones.  Mom also likes the daycare, but like all moms find, I have a few little niggles.  However, the love they seem to have for the little ones far outweigh those.  My issues really are negligable (things like - they have not given me back all his clothes and I am running low on vests etc.  Get this - they don't send back dirty clothes!  How awesome is that :))

Feeding is going great - with 3 full meals a day, 3 bottles, and a couple of snacks. I moved him onto a straw cup from the sippy about 3 weeks ago, and it is going well.  He is however starting to show some preferences and at some meal times he can be a bit hardheaded.  I guess it may just be payback time for me, as my mom has told me in the past what an issue feeding me used to be.

Unfortunately he came down with something this weekend again - he got a fever and after trying some meds etc. to get it down it carried on rising and reached 39.7 by the time we got to the doctor.  He is now on his second round of antibiotics this month! I have found the "sick" parts the most difficult to deal with (the snottiness (due to the allergies) has practically become a way of life - we deal with these quite well I think), as most of the time I think I am not even aware that anything is wrong until he is in too much discomfort. He generally does not act "sick" - once I got to the doc for something unrelated and he turned out to have tonsillitis and middle ear infection. These are the times I feel like such a bad mother for not reacting sooner, but other times I am not really sure how to react, for fear of seeming to be a little bit of a control freak or a "too worried" mom. I know that I am supposed to "trust my instinct", and truth be told that this is what has helped on many occasions.

Despite not feeling too great the weekend my folks enjoyed spending time with him.  they live about 2 hours away and we had decided to visit.  I think my mom feels as though she is missing out on a lot (and I guess in a way she is).  I really need to make a little more of an effort.

Oh, and diabetes this weekend - Diabetes 1, Me 0 :(

Friday, September 10, 2010


Well, I kind of feel as though I am swimming in work, swimming in all the things I need/want to get done at home, nearly sinking at times...  But that is not what I wanted to talk about.

We have been thinking about swimming lessons for our little terror (only because he kept me up last night, and then this morning at 4 he wanted to play - literally!) for some time now.  And I guess with summer fast approaching it has been on my mind a lot more lately.  Now I was thinking - what a great activity for dad and son to do together on a Saturday morning.  But dad had other ideas....  He thinks it would be the perfect opportunity for mom to learn to swim - I know, shock horror...  Well, it is not that I can't, but I can't.  I can keep myself afloat, get from one side of a pool to the other in some way or another, probably save myself from drowning if I fell in a pool, but I have never had proper swimming lessons (and it is highly unlikely that you would find me "swimming" in public.

So now I am trying to talk myself into doing it - because it probably would be a good thing for me too, right?

Monday, September 6, 2010

sick days

What a weekend this has been....

On Friday I left work early to see to my boy.  When we got home he did not seem to bad and played around a bit.  His temperature was still a bit high, but seemed to be coming down.  I gave him another dose of paracetamol and let him sleep a while.  We spoke to the paed who also thought it could just be the teething, but could also be some sort of virus.  She suggested we watch for any other symptoms and call her if things changed.  Later in the afternoon his fever hit 40.3, and I made the call again.  But she had already left for the weekend and the receptionist took some details and said we need to get it down, and he needs to see someone.  She gave us the name of the paed on call for the weekend.  N was home by now so we decided to call his uncle and took C to see him.  So we got some meds for pain and antibiotics to clear him up.  He has a middle ear infection (again) and his throat was also inflamed.  He also thought that the anti histamines we have been using was probably keeping the symptoms at bay too.

The rest of the weekend was better - Friday night was a little bit of hell though.  Last night he also seemed a bit uncomfortable so I will see how he copes today.  It is so heart breaking watching him cry in pain when there is nothing you can do!

So that was pretty much my weekend.

Friday, September 3, 2010

quick update

Life has been, well, hectic.

This is just a quick update, as I am about to leave the office...

My boy cut his first tooth on Saturday, and the next one on Wednesday.  He was a real trooper, only slightly miserable.  But last night he ran a fever, sleep was a bit "disturbed", and then this morning he seemed fine again.  But I have just got a call that he has a fever again...  Pretty sure it is probably related to the teething - I don't really know.  Hopefully the rest of the weekend will be better.

Blood sugar has been okay, but I can see the effect work stress has on it. I wanted to continue basal testing - still have some to do, but have not gotten round to it again.  I tried another sensor last week, but managed to "dislodge" it after a day or so.  I need to try remembering that it is there!

Monday, August 23, 2010

he kissed a girl

So things have been busy lately - mainly work, and then trying to fit life around all that.  I am not complaining about being busy at work - I prefer it, but it all seemed to hit at the same time...  As I think it usually does.  So I have been busy at work, spending as much time in the evening with C and getting him fed , bathed, and to bed. And then I am pretty much pooped, so I am in bed soon after my bath and dinner.  I have been thinking that I have been sleeping a little too much lately, and I really need to do something about this.

C has been doing great.  I think he has put on quite a bit of weight this month - I will know on Wednesday when I have him weighed at the clinic again.  He will be having his Chicken Pox shot on Wednesday - poor guy, just a month after the last lot of vaccinations.  But then I think there is a nice break before he needs to have some again.  He is crawling all over the place now, but prefers pulling himself up on pretty much anything.  Sometimes forgets he needs to hold on, but we have not had too many falls yet. I cannot believe how fast he is growing up and how rapidly things change!

I went to an indoor play area over the weekend - met two moms there who I had met on a forum about a year ago.  One of the kids, a little girl, is the same age as C.  It was so cute watching them together.  She pulled his hair, and his response was to kiss her!  And then they proceeded to take things from each other - she took his biscuit (so I gave him another) and they sat eating them, he took her water bottle, she took his juice sippy cup...

So life has been quiet, and busy.  I think I am going to work on not going to bed as early this week - on step at a time though!

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

CGMS initial thoughts and findings

I connected the CGM over the weekend.  First off - I will not be wearing the device permanently.  The main reason for this is cost.  I will not be able to claim the cost of the monthly sensors from my insurance company.

So first off I am doing basal testing.  I have not done any in a long time, and I am pretty sure they are quite "off".  I started with my overnight basals (as this is the easiest...).  Some tweaks needed - seem to need a little more insulin during the nights and less during the later morning hours.  These have obviously been cancelling each other out.  I am currently busy with the "morning run".  Already it seems as though I need to up my basals here.  So, just as I thought, I have been compensating with my morning bolus.  I had initially thought my insulin to carb ratios had changed (which they probably have, but not to the extent I have thought....).  I hope to finish the testing this week, and then I can relook at my carb to insulin ratios.

Insertion of the sensor was easy peasy (I thought it was going to be more painful).  The first calibration was a bit of a pain, and then I had one other calibration issue, but since then things seem to be on track.  It has been so interesting looking at the graph, and being able to keep such a good check on my blood sugar levels.

I have been a bit nervous about bathing with the sensor on.  Decided against using a second skin with it, but I may in future do.  To me it seems as though the adhesive is not as sticky as my pump site - but this is probably just my imagination (probably because it is smaller).

I have not had much reception issues, although I am trying to keep my pump hooked on my trousers on the same side as where the sensor is.  (I currently have the sensor on my right, while my pump site is on my left).

Trying not to think about food........

Monday, August 16, 2010

back home

So the week away last week turned out not to be too bad in the end.  It was over pretty quickly (although it could have been just a little quicker!), and before I knew it I was back at the airport and on a flight back home.  I was so glad to get home.  N seemed to have a good week single parenting.  He had a few hiccups - nothing major, just little feeding issues, and late morning starts.  C, I think, did not really miss having me around at all (sniff sniff) - it is actually quite amazing how these little people adapt to certain changes so quickly and easily.  I like to believe that he likes having me back home though :)

We had a nice lazy weekend.  Highlights were a nice walk along the ocean, and C's first haircut!  The haircut went much better than I expected.  And it looks so good!  He has really curly hair, and it was quite long.  Constantly in knots, and I really had difficulty keeping it "under control".  We took off quite a chunk, but I think he looks really cute now.  I am curious to see how fast it will grow now, as I have been told that it tends to grow back a little faster after a cut.

I have been connected to the CGM for about a day now - more on that later this week...

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

leaving on a jet plane... alone

So in just about 15 minutes I will be leaving for the airport.  It was a bit hard saying good bye to C at the day care this morning - and then of course he was real excited to be back there after the long weekend, and just wanted to get out of my arms!

Yesterday was a holiday, which I really appreciated!  We did not do much this weekend.  C had a "play date" on Saturday.  Went to see a new mom I met in a group I attended while on maternity leave.  The boys "played" while we drank coffee and chatted.  The play was taking toys from each other and putting it in their mouths...

I will be away the whole week.  I hope it is not too cold, and that I have packed the right clothes!

In other good news - One of my closest friends (and furthest away) had a baby last week.  We are so happy and thrilled to be welcoming her!  She had a very fast labour - calling me to tell me that she had gone into labour and was waiting for her husband to get there, and within three hours I had a message on my phone with a pic of the darling.  But all is well with both mom and daughter.  And on a pic I saw big brother looks very proud.

Monday, August 2, 2010


Yes, we have lift off!  On Friday it all started.... I cannot believe it and I was over the moon!  My boy is growing up and finally "moving forward"...  By Saturday he had loads more confidence and was crawling all over the place.  And why is it that "non-toys" and other items are always more interesting??

I just cannot believe how much I love this little boy :)

Back to work now.  Had a bad start this morning, all my fault really... I kinda didn't bolus for my whole dinner last night, so this morning I woke with a ridiculously high number.  But all is good now.

Friday, July 30, 2010

a trip away from home

I was nominated for something at work (no prizes or anything like that, it is just to kind of be the person in our division that is aware of a larger organisation project which will be taking place over the next couple of years, or something to that effect anyway).  And well, the start of this is a workshop that will take place in Johannesburg over three days.  Which will mean 3 nights away from home for me.  In a week and a half!!  Now, I have known that this was a possibility when I returned to work.  But I never really thought about it, or expected it so soon.  And while I can probably try to get myself out of it (which is probably not really a good thing in the grand scheme of things), a work trip is bound to happen at some point in the future - so I might as well get over it now....  I cannot actually believe how much it has been on my mind since yesterday.  Dropping C off at day care that first day I returned to work after a whole SIX months was much easier than I anticipated - people told me how hard it was for them, how they cried all the way to work...  I had no such problem, dropped him off, kissed him good bye, and off I went.  But a few nights away from him is sounding a bit daunting at the moment.  I am sure it is all going to go down without a hitch, but I cannot help but wish I did not have to do this!

I don't do these trips that often, but often enough for me...  I am not that familiar with Joburg, so it can be very lonely when I am there for a few days.  I stopped traveling during my first trimester (after I think about 3 trips) because at times those trips were just way too stressful and I did not want to add more stress to my life as it was.  At times it seems as though there are lots of meetings and workshops to attend up north, but then a long time can pass before it is necessary for me again.  I also remember traveling to Joburg once when I needed a day 21 blood test done at the start of our fertility journey - a day trip, this one planned well in advance, and then my body decides that now is the time...

Looking forward to this weekend.  We have a brunch at the day care tomorrow.  N's friend's baby is being baptised on Sunday, so we need to attend that too.

Off to the paed this morning for a 9 month check up.  But he is once again all "clogged up".

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

a very short week

My little week long stay at home was over in a flash.  I got nothing done that I had planned to do - i.e. my taxes... But it was good :)

N left for his hike on Tuesday.  Interesting to see how C responded to his absence.  In the evenings he would keep staring at the door, expecting him I guess.  Other than that he was a good boy for mama.  My mom visited for a couple of days, and while I love my mom it was a relief when she left!  I think we both had the same idea about the time she spent with us - a little break... Which meant I had to see to C (while she played with him), and all the other things too, as well as "entertain" her.  After she left it was just C and me for a few days - we spent most of the time at home, but with "outings" every day.  N returned late Sunday night.  He really enjoyed the hike, but we were very happy to have him back home!

Tomorrow C will be 9 months - a whole 9 months!  I cannot believe it.  He is growing so well, and getting cuter every day.  Still not crawling forward (seems to be a bit of a late bloomer...), and getting very frustrated when he cannot get to where he wants to go.  He is able to turn 360 degrees both when on his tummy and in the sitting position.  He loves his baths (in the big bath now), and I really love this time with him.  His hair is out of control, and after always insisting I would not have it cut I am now considering a bit of a trim.  No teeth yet either, but I think maybe something is going to come through soon.  His gums still looks pretty much the same as it has the past couple of months, but they definitely seem to be bothering him at the moment.  Feeding is going great - although fussiness has set in, and he knows what he likes - yoghurt....  So there is some bribing at night at dinner time.  Having some problems with bottles - he is looking interest in his afternoon one.

Today is vaccination day for us - measles and prevenar.  We will do chicken pox once they have stock again.  And on Friday his 9 month visit with the paed.  Health wise he is doing much better - still a bit of a runny nose, but the coughing has subsided a bit much to my relief!  We started using a humidifier about a week ago and it really has made a heck of a difference.

N's mom had been discharged from hospital.  She has to recover from the op she had before starting treatment.

And now for a little online shopping :)

Thursday, July 15, 2010


Things have been crazy lately.  to be honest, with nothing much really, but just life.  Work has been a bit quieter, but this does tend to make the days at the office drag a little longer, but has also been a relief as I could catch up with other work admin things - the things you keep having to put off because of other more urgent work.  So the week is finally drawing to a close - and next week I have decided to take off!!  So needless to say I am really looking forward to the end of tomorrow.

N is doing his week long hike next week.  They are going to freeze!  It has been quite cold here lately, and the area they are going to has been much colder.  He leaves on Tuesday and back sometime over the next weekend.  I will spend most of the time at home, do my taxes (if I don't find some other excuse not to do it), spend some time with C, and also get in some me time.

N's mom had to have an op this week.  He saw her night before last and she was doing much better.  She would have to stay in the ICU for a few days, and then probably still be in hospital a few days after that.  Hopefully this problem has now been sorted and she can start her treatment. 

Today we are doing a team build activity out of the office.  It is called Art Jamming.  I am so not artistic, really really bad at it.  to be honest, it is not really an activity I would choose to do - it entails the whole group painting a small part of a picture.  the last time I did this the group did not see what the complete picture was until the end, which made it a bit interesting.  This time we know what it is going to be.  It can be fun I guess, but I also find it a little stressful - just because it is not something I can do naturally, so it is not really a relaxing activity for me.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

eating and drinking

I have always thought me lucky - when we introduced solids it was such a breeze.  We never had ANY issues when introducing something new - not even green veggies!  I was slightly disappointed that I did not get the cool photo that day (called N to get the camera ready as I was about to start the feed....).  But now, slowly, small little issues are creeping in.

First off, he hated, HATED, the hake I tried over the weekend.  Yes I know he will not always like everything I give, but I was surprised.  I will try it again soon though (perhaps without the little bit of sauce I tried it with...).  So, because I have really no clue what I am doing, and because I am not that great a cook, I have ordered some cook books.  For now have got Annabel Karmel's Pasta and also her Finger Foods one for a little later.  The Pasta book has some interesting ones for the whole family, and at the start some dishes that I think will be great for him (the "baby" dishes).  And... they can be frozen!  So this weekend I will be trying something from there.  I just want a little more variety than we currently have.

Starting to have some issues with bottles too.  Currently he has 3 bottles a day (totalling about 600ml).  At daycare he has one of these, and they have telling me that he does not take it.  I asked them to give it half hour later, but he is still only taking a very little of it on some days.  So today I asked that hie "snack" and juice be given a little earlier in the morning, as I think this was also having an effect.  With us he takes it better it seems.  I will have to see how things go.  the main issue with the day care has been the morning nap, as they sometimes just let him sleep, a couple of time apparently up to 3 hours!  Which I thought was way too much - he wakes up late, has gets snack and juice an hour before lunch etc...  So really hope that things get better.

On the juice bottle front - he is taking it much better than before.  Actually, it is his "sippy cup".  He hated it at first.  Generally he gets really watered down juice, sometimes tea (which he does not seem to like that much), and sometimes water (same here...).  However, he does not drink that much of it.  There have been a few days when he has quite a bit though.  I very seldom "feed" this one to him as he likes holding it himself and playing with it.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

purple pumping

Sitting at home, heater on, working.... and cursing because the milk has expired and I am not sure if coffee is worth leaving my nice cosy couch for right now...  Another three hours and I will brave the wet and cold and head to the coffee shop up the road.

My pump arrived!  And I am connected.  It was delivered on Friday.  I was due a site change on Saturday, so did all the changes then.  Below some pics - I am not great at taking pics, and these have been taken with my Blackberry - so hope they are going to look fine!

The size is pretty much the same as my old pump - although for some reason it seems just a little bit smaller to me.  There is quite a few additional menu items, some of have not yet read up on, and other for the CGMS.  Also, they changed the names of some of the options which I found a bit odd and confusing.

I do not have the CGMS yet.  To cut a long story short, it was supposed to be delivered yesterday was wasn't, and I am not at the office (which is the delivery address they have) today.  So hopefully I will have it tomorrow.

N's mom was admitted to hospital yesterday as she was not well.  His dad only called late so we were not able to visit.  She will be starting chemo today and I think the doctors will be reassessing her also.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

long weekends away and purple pumps and sick babies

I am so glad that it is almost weekend - well, I am glad every week when Thursday / Friday makes an appearance and I can look forward to some relaxing (sometimes) and spending more time with my boy.

N (the husband) and I decided to take Monday and Tuesday off and get out of the cities for a few days.  We went to a little coastal town on Sunday and returned to the city on Monday.  It was fun.  We did not really do much, and it was good to just get away for a change.  The weather was good on Monday so we were able to take a nice walk.

My pump has been ordered!  I am strangely quite excited and cannot wait to get it.  It should hopefully be delivered tomorrow, along with my first ever CGMS - although I aill not be wearing this permanently.  I am in desperate need of some basal testing and have been holding off to do it with the CGM, so next week I will be doing that hopefully.  And then once those are all in order I want to really crack down on my carb to insulin ratios.

I took C (the little fella) back to the doc last Friday.  The doc suspects (as I have suspected since just after his birth) that he has allergies.  I had (environmental) as a child, and both N's brothers also have it.  So we have been advised to cut out dairy to see if that will make a difference.  He has been getting better - but probably more because of the new meds he has been on.  we switched his milk to Nan HA, and so fa things are okay.  I have added some prunes back into his diet (probably just going to do that every second day), as he was on a formula for constipated babies before.  Paed said that with the change in milk we may have that problem cropping up again.

We also saw the midwife on Saturday.  On the eating front he is doing great, and despite not being that well his appetite has still been good.  He has just been struggeling a bit with bottles at times when his nose is quite congested.  He now weighs 8.3kg, and is around 67.5cm long.

And in other sadder news, N's mom was told last week that her cancer is back.  She was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer about 2 years ago.  Had a hysterectomy and chemo and has been clear since.  She will be starting chemo again.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

fond memories

I have recently read posts on forums and blogs about when does a pregnancy actually feel real.  One post that I relate to so much mentions that even now that she has her babies she still sometimes wonders if they are hers...

I thought I was the only one!  Throughout my pregnancy I did not really "feel it".  I was always waiting for some revelation, or event, or just something, anything... to happen to make it real - like passing the 12 weeks mark, feeling the baby move for the first time, starting to show etc.  These things all happened, and yet still it did not fell real.  Telling people also did not make it that real too me.  Showing - well I just thought I looked fatter than normal.  And feeling movement - hardly felt him move and sometimes when I think I did I never really knew if it was real or not!

I have very fond memories of my pregnancy (and not so fond ones too...), especially the early days.  Like the day I found out I was pregnant, and the subsequent great beta results proving this one was sticking.  I constantly felt like I was keeping this really great secret!  I would sit and smile at odd times during the day when it was all I could think about.

And even now, nearly 8 months of actually being a mom, I still look at him with disbelief that he is actually mine.  that I am actually a MOTHER - when did that happen!?

My baby turns 8 months in a short few days.  And I cannot even begin to express how much more I love him today than I did the day he was born, or even yesterday!  I would never have imagined that you could ever love someone this much.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

here and there

On Monday the man and I took the day off to go see a Fifa World Cup game - Portugal vs North Korea.  Oh my word - what a game, and what an experience!  We had so much fun, despite the cold cold weather and the rain.  Luckily our seats were completely covered, so we did not get wet during the match at all.  I did not expect the level of noise though!  We wore earplug throughout most of the game.  When I took mine out just as it ended I was shocked!  cannot imagine how people coped without earplugs....  Portugal beat the Koreans 7-0.

The day care is run by a Portuguese mom and daughter.  Over the weekend I found a cute little Portuguese kit for my boy and we dressed him in this on Monday - they loved it!  This Friday Portugal takes on Brazil, so they are hoping that I will be dressing him up again - but, the person looking after him is from Brazil, so I hope to find something to support her this time round :)...

After a great blood sugar day yesterday I woke during the night with a serious low blood sugar.  I downed a juice box, and then proceeded to finish off a chocolate.  For a change it tasted good (during lows things tend not to taste good, and everything tends to have the same taste for me), so I thought I may have over indulged.  I woke up with a good reading though, so all is good!

I don't have much more than this happening at the moment....  My little fella is still a bit under the weather so we added some more meds - to clear some phlegm and from today to clear a runny nose.  The past two nights have been good with no night wakings, so it must be working!  I am suspecting that allergies are also affecting it all, so at our 9 month visit I will be requesting tests.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I have been up since 2am this morning.  I woke up, for no apparent reason, and just could not go back to sleep.  I tossed and turned, at around 4am I probably would have gotten myself done and gone to the office early if it wasn't for the little guy.  So now I am at work - and just hoping that it is not going to be too long a day...

And my cold is back :(.  Burny throat and runny / burny nose.

And that's about all I can manage for now...

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

feel it, it is here

Not only has the Soccer World Cup arrived in our country, but winter has arrived in full force.  Today on the way to work the temperature was 6 degrees Celsius.  Various mountain passes have been closed this morning due to snow, and we are still expecting some rain in our city today.  Yesterday morning while still in bed my husband's words were "it feels as though we are in a washing machine" because of the rain we were having.  And as irony and just bad luck would have it - our lounge got flooded within that hour :(.

But, today is a good day as tomorrow is a public holiday!  I had to stay home yesterday to clean up the mess, so a short working week for me.  We got it all cleaned up (thankfully we don't have carpets) and will have to see if the floor is damaged in a couple of days.  I hope it is not, as the thought of having to repair / redo it is not fun at all.

And in other news - we actually went to see two show houses on Sunday.  One which we liked, the other not so much - not much of a garden and yard for my fella to play in.  And yesterday we went to the bank to get some info on costs etc. of a new mortgage, and also what we would qualify for.  So we have decided to put our place on the market now (still need to speak to estate agent) and continue looking at the same time.  So I have all my bits crossed that everything happens real fast!

It seems as though my boy will be crawling soon.  For the past week he has been managing to lift his whole upper boy, and then his bum too.  Gets into the position and keeps it there for a little while but then drops back down.  So just a matter of time I am sure.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

thinking back, not too long ago

When I look at my boy I sometimes cannot believe he is actually here.  That he is actually mine, and that everything turned out so so great.  I count myself one of the luckiest people in the world for this...

The road, although not too long, had some hiccups along the way.  Firstly, I was going to have a diabetes pregnancy - although I knew, that as long as I kept everything under control, this would not be a problem or a factor in the pregnancy at all.  I did not know how time consuming it would be though - how diabetes would become so much apart of my life.  That was not fun, but in the end it was all worth it.  I had no diabetes complications during my pregnancy.  I kept my blood sugar levels as tight as I could - I can honestly say that it was the best control I have ever managed over an extended period of time.  And if I had to do it again I would...

Pre-eclampsia was something I knew about, had read about, but it never crossed my mind that I would actually get it.  And just as easy as it could have cause me so much heart ache, it let me meet my man a few weeks early. And angels were watching as the events that led to that fateful OBGYN visit were all but coincidence I believe.  And he did great.

And as I look at him still, I cannot believe that actually he was conceived on 31 December 2008, in a little petri dish not too far from home while I was trying to celebrate the New Year with friends - But all that was on my mind were my little embryos, wondering how many of them there would be the next morning.  And for about three months my little man was frozen.  Isn't that amazing - I think it is..

Actually, all I really wanted to say is how happy and thankful I am, and how much I love that boy of mine.  And I hope that I will be able to give him the best life he could ever imagine.  I am just so happy that I got my happy ever after.  And I really hope that everyone can have theirs one day.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Pump upgrade

And once again it is Friday.  Sometimes I feel as though my weeks consist of only Mondays and Fridays.  The weekends fly by, but so do the weeks...

I plan on relaxing this weekend, and especially tonight.  We had dinner with my in-laws last night and got home quite late, so I am a bit sleep deprived today.  Dinner was very nice, with a nice glucose reading at the end when I got home (and then a rage correction bolus was followed by a low :()

And on the diabetes front - I met with a "Diabetes Educator" this week.  I have never used one before, have always just been managed by an Endo.  I really enjoyed the visit, which was to discuss pumps and joining a diabetes programme run by my Endo.  The "Educator" is his wife, a "retired" GP, and was great!  We discussed upgrading my pump - I am now just waiting for a call from the Medtronic rep to put the wheels into motion.  At the visit we decided to move to the Paradigm 722 - I am currently on a 712, in stead of upgrading to the new Veo (which I believe is something similar to the recently launched Revel in the States, but with an additional function of automatically shutting down the basal delivery if glucose levels drop below a certain point).  The feeling I got was that there are some additional functions to this new pump, but if you are not going to constantly wear the CGM you will not use these.  I just want to do some reading on the differences between the two, as apparently there is also not that much of a price difference.  She has let Medtronic know however that we are going with the 722 (but I guess I can still change my mind....).  She even gave me a new meter - granted it is identical to the one I have, but it is great!  I have been using my current one for more than 4 years now and love it.  In that time I have tried two others but they did not appeal to me.

I have also joined the programme - it does not cost me anything additional, but gives me access to some additional services at no extra cost.  Extra strips - YAY!, and the possibility of receiving LESS pump supplies.  yes you read it - less...  I currently have a draw filled with reservoirs and cannulas and the way I am currently receiving this I cannot have a "break" in delivery without causing issues with my insurance.  I found out yesterday that these supplies actually expire!  Need to check on that....

And more on that - I am considering / thinking about / contemplating Metformin.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

house hunting

We bought a flat / apartment a few years back.  It is quite large, but only has 2 bedrooms.  It was never really a long-term plan anyway, and when we decided to try for baby we discussed what we would do.  The plan was that once he was born we would immediately start looking for a house, to give us enough time to move by the time he turned one.  However, this did not go according to plan.   So now we have talked and we really need to get our asses into gear!  Last night we did some budgets.... So next step is talking to someone regarding the size mortgage we would get, and then also start looking at selling our current place.  It is quite exciting, and I am actually really looking forward to moving eventually - not the packing and unpacking and all that of course! 

While we still have some space in our current place, it is not really going to work for us for much longer.  The little fella is taking up more and more space every day.  And we never really wanted him to grow up in an apartment anyway.  I will miss living there - while I do like gardens etc., an apartment is so much less stress in some ways!

I am looking forward to some off days in the next coupld of months, most of which will likely be spent with my boy, and at time boys :).  Makes work a little easier knowing it lies ahead!

Monday, May 31, 2010

sick days, weekends, and our new chair

Friday I took a sick day. My husband dropped our boy at daycare in the morning, so I was free to relax all day. I dragged myself to the doctor, got meds, and spent the rest of the day in bed - literally. I watched a couple of Friends episodes, had lunch in bed, and slept most of the afternoon. I think I needed it! The in-laws came round with dinner, and we just spent the evening chatting and had an early night.

On Saturday I had a visit with a nurse/midwife (who specialises in routines and feeding etc.). We have been seeing her since we started solids and I have been following her "routine" and feeding schedule since I returned to work. It has been working very well for us. At just over 7 months he now weighs 7.98kg, and has been putting on weight quite consistently the past couple of months which is great. He gained despite his recent illness.

The rest of the weekend was pretty chilled. We collected our World Cup tickets on Saturday - we are seeing a Portugal vs. Korea match.

We also collected our chair this weekend! And he loves his chair - it is actually too cute watching him! The chair (called a Sit right chair) comes with "baby attachments", and later converts into a normal chair. We opted for this instead of a "normal" baby high chair. It was more expensive, but just works out so much better as we can use it for longer. In the long run it pays off. Now we just need to find a way of getting him to sit still!

And on that note - suddenly nappy changes (and anything else that requires a still baby) has become so much more challenging! He just moves around all the time - does not sit still at all... It is cute watching him sometimes, but can be frustrating when all I want to do is get the nappy changed!
He is also sitting unsupported for the past couple of weeks - not for long periods yet, but he is getting there! He also constantly tries to pull himself up into a sitting position. Grabs at absolutely everything (and promptly put whatever he gets his hands onto into his mouth). Have I said how much I love this little man of mine!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

motivated to be unmotivated

While I was pregnant the thought of my maternity leave - which was six months, seemed like an eternity.  After all, 6 months is half a year - HALF a YEAR!!  I thought that I would have time to not only spend time and see to my boy, but also for all these other things.  In fact, I thought it would be that long that I would actually get bored...

But it wasn't.  In fact, when I returned to work it took only a few days to feel as though I was never away.  And while so much remained exactly the same, I have realised that just as much has changed.  I work in a fast changing industry, so what was relevant before I started my leave no longer is.  And to be honest, during my leave I did not keep myself that much abreast with the news in the industry.  Our company, like many other large organisations restructure often.  During my leave our department/division has remained in it's directorate, we still have the same director, but the way in which work is done has changed so much.  So after my meeting now I feel very motivated to be unmotivated. 

A weekend or two ago I actually contemplated leaving - well, the "idea" of it anyway.  And to be honest if we could afford that right now I would be thinking about it more seriously.  Not so much to be home with my son, but to be doing something different.  I love what I do - or I did, I still do, but I just feel that things have changed so much, and I am not sure it is what I "like".  And so I can go on rambling....

Is it because of the life changing event??  I think it has a lot to do with how I am feeling at the moment.  having a child really does change a lot - the way you look at EVERYTHING.  More than I expected - I am sure I have said this before though...

So - if I were more "crafty", entrepreneurial, or something....  Now that would have been nice.  But I guess in that respect it is just finding "me", right?

So am I happy?  I am, and I am still okay with coming to this job every day.  But I feel like something is missing.  I no longer feel the loyalty I used to feel.  But for now this is it...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

sick day

I took my boy to the doctor yesterday after a night of coughing.  turn out the poor dear has tonsillitis and a middle ear infection.  to clear his nose I was given a nasal spray, and for his ears ear drops.  And it has been such a pain trying to get these things in properly!  the first round (well the first nostril and first ear of the first round) went okay, but now the minute he sees it he starts wriggling around and crying.  Poor baby - it cannot be very nice.  I hate nasal sprays, and I am sure drops in your ears aren't that great either!  So the tonsillitis should clear-I hope soon.  I think last night was a little better - but it included a full dose of paracetamol before bed, so that probably helped.

So I am at work, with my boy at the daycare - I think today I will only be here in body.  They will call should he run a temperature or loose his appetite (which would likely mean that the tonsillitis is getting worse).

I am still amazed at how much "things" and life changes once you have a baby.  I knew it would, but did not realise to what extent.  We never really had loads and loads of friends.  My husband's closest friend also had a baby recently, so I guess that friendship will continue the way it has (although at the moment it seems he and I are having a little issue..).  One of my friends does not have any kids and won't be having any - and I am still amazed at how much things have changed.  (although to be honest, sometimes I think I have done something, but not sure what...).  My closest friend (who lives very very far away and I only see every couple of years) also mentioned that now that she has a baby she mainly hangs out with other moms.  I guess that is to be expected - nobody else wants to hear about poop and spit up ;) - although that's not all we talks about.... really.

Monday, May 17, 2010

how could I forget my purse?

This week holds the promise of no rain, which will make coming to work a little easier...

But I was off to a bad start this morning - got to work, unpacked my bag, and NO WALLET! On the morning I did not pack lunch or have breakfast. So here I sit, in an empty office, wondering what time my friend will be in so I can bum some cash off him. And as luck will have it I am probably going to be starving in the next few minutes - and not many people come to work at this ungodly hour...

But, I will not let that ruin my week (I am sure there will be other things that will do it ;)).

I met up with some girls for a movie and lunch on Saturday. It was nice to get out for a bit and do something different, but part of me felt I would have had more fun with my boy - no offense meant to the girls I met with though! It was a bit weird meeting with girls from an infertility forum where most of them had not yet had a baby. On the forum I found that once you have crossed that line you are automatically "graduated" to another group. It is strange (to me) that you can make connections while trying to fall pregnant, but you could possibly loose these entirely once you actually fall pregnant and have a baby. I guess I can understand why this happens, but I never really became, let’s just put it,. "like that". The girls I met with were quite nice though, and there did not seem to be any feelings of animosity.

Well, let the week begin...

Friday, May 14, 2010

it's friday!

But I guess it does not really count for me today, as I am home.  I have just put my boy down for his nap, so wanted to catch up on mails, and do a little bit of work.  It stormed last night, and quite cold this morning.  I have a slight blocked nose (nothing to keep me home really, to be honest it isn't much at all...), and my boy was still a bit congested last night and coughed quite a bit during the night.  So I decided to stay home - maybe try getting some work done in between.

Some girls invited me to the movies tomorrow.  I have not been in ages!  These are some girls I met on a fertility forum.  Sadly not all of them have babies yet.  I have only met one of them in person - and she is now 8 weeks pregnant - yipeee!  So excited for her.  This is her first pregnancy.  Her husband had a vasectomy reversal which unfortunately was not successful.   But they have managed to do TESA (I don't know much about this at all...), and have gotten their BFP (fertility talk for pregnant - big fat positive) from their second fresh IVF with ICSI.  Another's husband is currently on meds, and another is pursuing adoption.  I have not been to the movies in a looooooong time.  And I think it is going to be fun meeting up with some girls for movies and lunch.

But mt immediate plan is to stay in my pajamas all day.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

the weather

I love winter - everything about it. I love gloves, scarves, and boots. I love nice comfort food you generally have in winter (but not the soup....). I love sitting indoors while it is cold and rainy outside, watching movies or reading a good book. But I don't like having to get out of bed early and leave home in it! The weather has changed - suddenly and drastically. Just a short few weeks ago it was so hot. I am relieved, but the change coincided with my return to work, which really sucked!

Unfortunately I think this change has made my boy a little congested, which is probably adding to our night time wake ups... Last night he also coughed a bit more (a dry cough). I hope it does not get any worse. Last night at his bath I also noticed a bit of a rash - so the symptoms could also possibly be related to a measles vaccine we did just over a week ago. Not sure, as the nurse told me that if he has any reaction it would come about 5 days later (and would include the runny nose and rash on chest). The rash only came yesterday (chest and tummy) - which is 10 days later... So now I just hope that it is not "real" measles (apparently at 6 months the vaccine is about 65% effective) as we are having a bit of a problem with that over here at the moment.

Monday, May 10, 2010

balancing life

It has been only a week and a half since my return to work, and already I have loads of respect for women around the world who do this.  Recently I read a comment on Facebook by someone (not actually in my friends list..) that it p!ss3s her off when people imply that stay at home moms don't do much, and that she believes it is the hardest job - being 24/7 with no holidays etc.  After 6 months at home with my boy I can agree with this statement.  She however did open a can of worms with her comment, because everyone's situation is different.  Not everyone can afford to stay at home.  And then - do moms who have to work have it harder?

I don't know - and I will stick to saying that everyone's situation is very different.  Unfortunately for me our situation does not allow for me to stay at home.  I am not even sure if that is what I would want, but I think that I would have liked to maybe still stay home with him until the end of this year.  Daycare/crèche etc. also has advantages.  Anyway, I have digressed from what I actually wanted to say....

In the week and a half I realised that it is going to be hard.  On top of work I had registered at University to complete my masters - I still have a thesis to complete (my masters included some coursework - which I have completed), and an exam I was not able to write last year due to my early delivery.  At the start of the year I thought that I may be able to make time for this, however I have realised that this is not the case.  I guess I can make time, but it would be at the expense of something - most likely time with my boy (which I am not willing to give up just yet), and would make it even less likely that I would have any time to myself.  After a lot of internal "conflict" I have decided to cancel this year.  What made it a little more difficult was that I had applied to my work to pay for the course - which they have for two years.  And not completing will have some financial implications to me - and this was a bit scary (and still is).  I really need to give that policy and documents a good read-through now to see what it means.  But for now I feel as though a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulder!  It has really been bothering me and stressing me out during the week hours of the mornings....  I have started the admin process, and now need to still contact the university to do the cancellation there.

I knew that life would change once I had my boy.  Everything changes, most importantly priorities.  Things that were once important no longer seem to be.  Life has changed - but this is by far the most exciting challenge.  I cannot imagine life without my boy - I'm not really sure how I got this far without him!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

a low day

So as I turned onto to highway on my way to work yesterday morning I realised I had forgotten to change my pump site - meaning I would not have enough insulin for my basals for the day as well as breakfast and lunch. Because the rainy weather was already causing a traffic problem I decided I would just fill my prescription at the pharmacy and get some syringes to take my bolusses with. Following breakfast I had a high reading, corrected, and lunchtime things seemed fine. When I got home I was a bit low, corrected with juice while warming my boy's dinner. Still feeling low I had more juice, then got a bit shaky - so more juice. I was so nauseas by this time, and tested at 4.2mmol/l - and my low beforehand was not that low - I think 3.4mmol/l. I had also suspended my pump. Feeling quite crap I continued with my evening chores and ran my bath. Still on suspend. 2 hours following this whole debacle I tested at 2.something - WTF?? So yet more juice. Had dinner, and went to bed shortly after. Woke a couple of hours later - still low! Hate those days when it just does not make any sense at all!

I am enjoying the colder weather at the moment, but not fun leaving home in the mornings. But at least it is nearly Friday again!

Saffy - on the daycare:

The one I ended up choosing only caters for kids up to age 2. They currently only have about 9 kids, with the youngest about 5 months or so. Their ratio is 4 kids to one adult. They will only take a maximum of 12 kids. They have 2 "bedrooms" for sleeping - one for the babies and one for the bigger kids. Each kid has their own cot. It was one of the "smaller" places in terms of number of kids that I looked at. The problem in the end was that nobody tells you that you really should start looking for daycare once that second line appears! So most places taking babies (the nicer ones anyway) generally have waiting lists. Because I had six months leave I thought that would give me enough time to find a place, but it wasn't.... The one I took in the end is new - only started beginning this year, so you could not really speak to many moms who have been using them. But in the end the most important thing to me was the "feeling" I got from the staff, and I felt quite reassured by them that they would take care of my boy very well.

Monday, May 3, 2010


What a great weekend! Well, it was just really fun spending it with my boy after the two days back at work.

This weekend we introduced some protein and green veg to meals. And he ate the green veggies with no problems! Gulped down the whole bowl of food. I was expecting some really crazy faces and got my husband to be ready with the camera, but we got no funny pictures! Cannot believe how much he actually enjoyed it - and to be quite honest, it did not look very appetising to me... Things have improved a little since we introduced solids a few weeks ago - the constipation seems better, although we still have some bad days. But at least he now goes every day, and not only every few days like before. (Who would ever have thought that "poop" would become an acceptable conversation topic!)

I also took him for a measles vaccine this morning. He was brave, cried only for a brief few seconds after it was given. So the next lot of vaccinations will be in three months.

His weight is still great - basically just below the 50th percentile.

The daycare has been going well. They even send me a pic of him sometime during the day. I am glad that they have been able to follow my routine, rather than getting him into a new routine all together. Even though they do supply food, I have been making his food myself, and packing it for him daily. I initially thought it was going to be quite a time consuming process, but I find it to be quite quick. I made quite a bit on Saturday evening to stock up, and it only took me about 2 hours from start to finish - and this included butternut in the oven, green veg (spinach, baby marrow, broccoli, and green beans), chicken, and sweet potatoes!

I have also started him on a sippy cup. Not going to great at the moment - he is still not 100% sure what to do with it. It is just so amazing how these little ones change and grow!

Work has been good - and it is a bit refreshing to be doing something different for a change. Also being able to do things in my own time, and go to the loo without ever having an audience!

Friday, April 30, 2010

6 Months

My boy turned 6 months on Wednesday. I cannot believe it has been 6 months already. It feels like yesterday I had that 34 week OBGYN appointment, which led to an emergency caesarean - he was born 2 hours after my appointment. I am still surprised at how quick things moved once the extent of the PE had been determined. And it is a day I will never forget. I was not really sure what to expect, whether I should cry or not, how worried I really should be, or anything for that matter. I was worried, the trip over to the maternity ward could potentially have just been a 24 hour monitoring along with a round of steroids, with the possibility of a birth later that evening / night. But once the blood had been drawn and I had been seen by another physician they started prepping me for surgery. In the end everything turned out ok - my boy breathed on his own from the start, had pretty good APGAR scores too! And mom got better too... I spent the first 24 hours in the ICU, and my boy on the floor above in NICU, so I only got to spend very limited time with him.

And now he is 6 months! All caught up in growth, and I just cannot believe how much I love him!

This week also marked my return to work. I started yesterday, and to be honest it has gone better than expected. The cold dark early mornings have not been fun though! I am happy with the daycare so far, but I do miss having him with me. Needless to say I am looking forward to the weekend!

My Endo appointment went well. I did have an increase in my A1c, but it was expected. We have decided to give a CGMS a try over a 3 day period. Just waiting to settle back into a routine now that I am back at work before.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Happy 101

I was given an award by Saffy, over at Motherhood, with a side of sugar.  Thanks Saffy - and yes, I probably need to be thinking of some happy things now that the days are really numbered before my return to work...  So here goes:

 And the rules are as follows:

1. copy and paste the award on your blog.

2. list who gave the award to you and use a link to her/his blog (or hyperlink).

3. list 10 things that make you happy.

4. pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know about the award.

10 things that make me happy, in no particular order:

  1. When I go into his room and my boy wakes up with a smile on his face
  2. Realising that despite diabetes and pre-eclampsia I have a lovely healthy happy boy - I am just so happy that things turned out as they did in the end
  3. The smile of freshly baked bread.... I know, I am easy to please
  4. When things work out as they are supposed to, especially when you have to / or overcome some obstacles in the way
  5. Chatting to and spending time with new and old friends, and making new ones along the way
  6. Pajamas - again, I am easy to please.... But I love pajamas and warm slippers - My Uggs being my favourite by far!  And it makes me particularly happy if every now and then I can spend the day in them - either reading a great book (this will have to be no.7...) or watching a nice movie
  7. Finding and reading a great book
  8. Saturday mornings - and yay! when I go back to work next week, they will once again make me happy, and probably more so than before
  9. My husband, always :)
  10. My son, forever :)
And now to tag:

Shannon at LADAdeeda, who is battling infertility, fighting diabetes, and coming to terms with her sisters cancer diagnosis.
Bee at BeeMusings - kick those high BGs in the butt!

Monday, April 19, 2010

in preparation

For the past week we have been working on a "routine" in preparation for my return back to work - next week!!  I needed something that would give me time to get done in the mornings, and some sort of idea of what would happen when I got home in the evening.  We have been just prodding along up until now, with the only "routine" followed being his feeding.  So now we have more of a "schedule", which includes his bottle feeds, his meals, and "potential" naps.  I say "potential" because as babies go they tend to have different plans to what you have when it comes to their sleeping!

He is now having 3 meals a day - I cannot believe this!  My boy now has fruit and a little yogurt for breakfast, and veggies for both other meals.  Cereal was a pain, he cried, did not want to eat it at all, and after some discussion with a nurse/midwife we decided to drop it.  She also mentioned that due to refinement most of them will anyway aid in constipation - something we definitely do not need more of!  So, to help him a little in this department I have been adding a little bit of prunes to his breakfast every couple of days.  The meals are going great - he loves it!  Uses both his hands to pull the spoon into his mouth.  I must say that these feeds are a lot more interesting that those boring bottle feeds (or thinking back to tube feeding in hospital!), but damn they get messy!  I finally know what bibs are for :)

This week  we will also do a little trial at the daycare for a few hours - some of the time I will spend there, and then I will also leave him there for an hour or so.

Tomorrow is my dreaded Endo appointment - results of not only the A1c expected, but also some other levels I am nervous about!  I am really hoping that it is not as bad as I think it is going to be....

In other news - two baby girls born to friends in the past week.  Two very different stories, but with two healthy babies at the end of them.

Monday, April 12, 2010

how am I going to do it?

I woke early this morning for the bathroom, and walking back to bed my confused mind thought I had only one and a half more weeks left at home.  I nearly had a heart attack right there!  I don't have that much more left though - just 2 and a half weeks, and now I am wondering how on earth I am going to do it!?  When I started my maternity leave (well, before I started it), I thought the 6 months would go by much slower than it has, that I would be looking forward to going back to work.  The 6 months has gone by in a flash, it feels like only yesterday that my boy was born...  I am looking forward to going back to work - just for some "variety", adult conversation during the day, less "baby", and some mental stimulation.  But how am I going to manage without my boy!?  This little person has really become such a big part of my life, more than I probably ever could have imagined.  So, now I am starting my count down...

Friday, April 9, 2010

home sweet home

It has been three weeks - three weeks with limited internet access, and not sleeping in my own bed.  I am glad to be home, but not looking forward to loads of unpacking, cleaning and laundry awaiting me.

My boy and I got back from our holiday Wednesday last week.  We had a great time!  He was such a good boy on all the flights, but traveling with an infant, by yourself, is hard.  Our journey there was much easier - the first domestic flight of two hours was pretty easy.  He slept some of the flight, and did not cry at all.  Our onward journey was about 12 hours, and due to a major screw-up by the airline we were upgraded to business class!  Now that was a good flight :).  He slept some of the flight, but those bassinets on the plane are not the most comfortable.  Adjusting to the time difference was also much easier than I expected, for both of us.  But I had major blood sugar issues for the first few days, and then most nights for the duration of the stay. 

It was such a great trip - I got to see quite a few additional people, but is was so nice seeing my friend, and meeting her boy for the first time.  I was lucky enough not to see any spiders, at least not ones that count...  Sydney is a beautiful city, but I have to admit that I prefer my own city a hundred times over!   After the two weeks though I was more than ready to come home.  It was sad saying good bye, it always is...

The flight back was slightly more difficult.  The international leg on the return is 14 hours, and then we came back economy class - wow what a change!  I really could get used the business class :).  I had no sleep whatsoever on the return journey, so by the time I got home I had been awake in excess of 24 hours.  I flight utterly crap!

And then I had a few days of really bad fluctuating blood sugars to deal with.  I am pretty sure those highs are going to cost me dearly when I go for my HbA1C in a couple of weeks.

Well, now I need to catch up on all the blogs and stuff I have missed out on.  Back soon.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Since a few days ago my boy has changed his routine slightly.... Or added some colour to it!  He has started making crying and wimpering sounds in his sleep.  These start at around 02:00 in the morning.  The only constant is that is starts at this time.  Sometimes they "crescendo" from wimpering into crying sounds (but without him waking), once he actually woke up (I had left him to see if he would or not.  And I try not to run immediately he makes a noise...), once he wimpered, wimpered, wimpered, and then went back to sleep.  It has been for about 4 nights, 2 of which saw me fetch him from his room as I was having to get in and out of bed too often.  Not sure what this is all about.  He is not hungry.  Seems to sometimes stop on his own, and also when I give him the dummy.  I do not realy want to get him into the habit of getting the dummy as currently he only really wants it when he is tired and wants to sleep, but "spits" it out once he is asleep...

Then - I think he is going to start teething soon....  His drooling / dribbling has increased by about 10 litres a day (lol - I swear, where does it all come from!) and I have noticed he no longer just sucks on things, he is starting to chew.  I cannot see or feel anything yet, but have gone out and made some purchases of teething "stuff".

 Not sure whether these two could be related??  He does not have a fever thankfully!

Anyway, gotta dash... May be back sooner, but probably 2 weeks.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

leaving on a jet plane (or 2)

Tomorrow we are off!  A two hour domestic flight to Joburg, a 3 hour wait, then 14 hours to our final destination - Sydney.  I cannot wait!!  Cannot wait to see my friend and her 1 year old, to have that feeling you have when you visit a country for the first time, but...  I have never been this anxious about a trip before!  My first flight with my boy, and I am doing it alone!  So either I am very brave, or completely crazy.  I go with the latter :).  Although truth be told, I do not foresee having too much issues with him, he should sleep most of the international leg of the trip.  Jet lag however is going to be interesting.  Then add to the jet lag (along with the jet lagged infant), basal changes to the pump.... mmmm, an interesting holiday indeed - I C A N N O T wait!

And the people sitting next to me may need some well wishes...

Monday, March 15, 2010

an adult dinner

Don't get me wrong - I love spending time with my boy, and I do miss him when he is not with me.  But, a dinner, with only adults every now and then is godsend!  Since the birth of my boy we have had three of these.  I guess in some people's worlds this is a lot...  This weekend my mom visited, so we took the opportunity to go for dinner with a couple of friends on Friday night.  The night was very good (although, considering that it is a fairly well known place, the food was really nothing exciting at all!  Actually, my meat was pretty crap...), we just spent chatting without having to worry about a baby :).  the rest of the weekend was relaxed.  The husband did a cycle race yesterday while I had lunch with my parents before my mom returned home.  So now I am starting to pack, and stress out!  As though traveling with a baby was not enough I know need to start "thinking" about my basals rates etc, as I will be traveling across way too many time zones...  I have done a similar trip a couple of years back, and things were not too bad.  Hopefully this time round will be the same!

Well, I need to go rescue my boy - he has moved himself into a rather uncomfortable position, and can no longer grab onto his toys ;)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

finally, relief!

The weather has been horrible here, and finally today it has cooled down!  It just started pouring outside, and I could hear the thunder in the distance a little while ago.

This week has been a bit busy.  Monday my boy had his four month check-up with the paed.  All went very well, and in terms of growth he has now caught up with his age group :)  He is also on the tall side, and apparently has a big head... On Tuesday I had to take him for some more vaccinations.  The poor boy screamed, and was not happy with mom at all!  So now the measles at around 6 months is the next stop.

Just a week before our big trip!  I need to head to the shops for a few small items still, and early next week will do all the packing.  Although I am very excited about the trip, it has come a bit sooner than I would have liked.  I know that my two weeks away is going to go by so fast, and when I return home I only have about 4 weeks left at home before returning to work.  I could never have imagined how this feels!  Even though I am looking forward to working again, having some other stimulation it is going to be so hard leaving my boy behind.  After spending 6 months with him 24/7, it is going to be a bit odd not having him with me.  But, let me now dwell on those thoughts too much now....

The rain has put a bit of a damper on my plans for today.  Was considering a quick walk to a shopping centre just down the road, but that is out of the question now.  But if it lets down a little I may rush down to the car and take a drive...

On the diabetes front things are going as always.  I am still having a few more highs than I would like.  I will only be seeing my Endo after my holiday.  Hope that with these highs (and a holiday which will probably add to it!) my A1c has not gone up by too much!

More on my boy:  We will be starting solids just after he turns 5 months.  I have no clue how it all works!  Have a book I will take a read through - will probably have some time during my flights.  Yet another milestone - it is going way way too fast...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

all clear :)

So my doctors visit went well - it ended with "you do not have to see me again" - great!  All is back to normal now, and I now only need to keep an eye on my blood pressure once a month - it has returned to normal, and I have been off all meds for about 3 months now.  It was such a pain having to measure blood pressure (and glucose...), and I tended to forget most of the time.  So, he just mentioned, as did my OBGYN, that although I am at higher risk of getting PE in a next pregnancy, it is not guaranteed.  We have kind of settled on just having one, although we still have some frozen embryos left - not yet decided what to do with themWe will likely keep them until we are certain that we do not want to use them.  He also mentioned "we will support you should you decide to fall pregnant again", which kind of put a bit of a damper on the whole "maybe one day I would want another one"..., and "you need to go into it with your eyes open, and be aware of the risks with having Type 1 diabetes and the risk of PE again"...  Anyway, not really things I need or want to ponder right now.

Now would it not be great if an Endo visit could end with "you do not need to see me again"!  Still due a visit, but seems as though I will only do it when I return from my trip.  I leave in a week and a half and could not be more excited!  We have our visas, I still need to call the airline regarding the bassinet etc., and then start on my list.  My guy has a round of vaccinations next week as well as a paed visit (just a check-up).  Then only packing and stressing left for me!  I have one stop - a 2 hour domestic flight and then the dreaded 14 hour flight...

Blood sugars are "okay", not great at all.

So glad the weekend is almost here!  At least then the husband is home so I have a bit more company :)

And my boy - he is doing great.  Still sleeping well at night.  Just been having some issues with his feeding now and then, but it may just be the horrible hot weather.  I also want to giving him water again - in the past he would take one sip, realise it wasn't milk, then spit it back out.

Now I am going to enjoy the rest of my glass of great wine, then off to bed :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

he slept through!

Things are great - my boy is growing well, and last night was the fourth consecutive night that he has slept through!  It feels good, and gives me so much more time to myself (well, not exactly, more time to get other things done to be exact).  He is feeding well too, although according to the "formula" he has slightly less on some days.  I do not like forcing him to drink more than he wants, and he seems happy and content so I do not think it is a problem.

I just still cannot believe how fast the time is going by since he is with us.  My pregnancy feels like a lifetime away (in some ways I do not really remember much of the pregnancy either - except that it felt really very very long!).  Yesterday was his four month birthday - and I cannot imagine my life without him now.  It is as though he was always meant to be with me, and always has...

Our trip planning is coming along.  I need to collect our passports today as the visas have been processed.  I have started a list - never needed these before!  I still need to figure out how I am going to carry the formula - regulations state no more than 150ml of liquid per container, so I am anyway going to need more water for the bottles, so I am considering taking the powder.  But I am sure there are regulations regarding this too...  I still need o call the airline to book a bassinet, so I will ask my questions then.  Just two more weeks!!

I bought a new baby carrier (this is number 4!), and it is definitely one of my better buys...  He is so comfortable in it, falls asleep within minutes.  It is going to be so great for the trip as I will be on my own and having my hands free will be great.

A doctor visit for me tomorrow - I think the last of my check ups.  I still had some protein a couple of months ago, so hopefully that will now be all cleared up.

Monday, February 22, 2010

my trip is around the corner now!

I am currently juggeling motherhood, diabetes, and planning a trip / holiday...

My baby was baptised over the weekend.  We had a wonderful day.  The service was good, and we had a well behaved baby too!  He was just a little upset when I gave him to the priest as it woke him.  Afterward we had tea and cake at my in laws with some family and close friends.  It was great!  the rest of the weekend was spent chilling with friends and at home.

Mondays come way too fast - although while I am still on maternity leave they don't really mean that much to me anyway.  But I enjoy weekends and having my husband at home.  This week I need to do a little more planning for our trip which is in three weeks time.  I am visiting a friend abroad - and getting real excited about it now!  I have not seen her in nearly two years.  Her son turned one in December, so cannot wait to meet her little boy.  Also getting a little nervous about the travelling part along with a baby, but I am sure it is going to go well...

Diabetes has been keeping me on my toes still, with a couple of crappy days.  Hope they are now behind me.  I still have to make an appointment to see my Endo in the next few weeks, or perhaps when I return from my trip.  A but apprehensive about my A1c though - it has been so good this past year or so, but with the highs I have had these past few weeks I am sure it is going to be a bit worse....

Monday, February 15, 2010

4 months old soon

I cannot believe how fast my boy is growing.  In a couple of weeks he will be four months old!  The time has gone by so fast (he keeps me way too busy!).  I am lucky to still be on maternity leave, and I am not looking forward to leaving him behind when I return to work - but at least I still have some time :)  In about a month we will be visiting one of my closest friends.  I am so looking forward to the trip, but not to the long 14 hour flight I will be taking with my boy (and alone too).  I have no clue how I will be handling that, and the jet lag with a baby to look after...

Friday, February 12, 2010

post pregnancy diabetes

Although it was not easy, I managed to keep my blood sugar levels pretty stable throughout my pregnancy.  It was damn hard, but so worth it...  I went through the normal increased sensitivity during my first trimester, after which my sensitivity gradually started decreasing - faster and faster....  Looking back, the two or so weeks before my emergency delivery, my insulin intake remained quite stable (which in hindsight was probably another sign that there was something going wrong...).  Just before my delivery I reset my basal to pre-pregnancy rates, and my blood sugars remained very stable for the 24 - 48 hours thereafter.  I went back to my pr-pregnancy insulin and eating habits, but a few weeks later when going back on bcp, everything I thought I knew was no longer valid.  It had been a couple of years since I have taken these, and honestly - I actually cannot recall if my insulin sensitivity was that much different when using them then.  I have increased my basals (especially overnight / early morning rates), but am still having some issues with bolusses, and probably also some basal rates.  Trying to do basal tests is near impossible for me with a baby.  I retested my basal rates a couple of weeks after the birth (before bcp), and managed to do them all - and all was good then...  I really need to get them sorted - but honestly, I am lost...

And then there is the gym.... Oh the gym, the one I threaten to visit every week, but don't get to.

Motherhood + diabetes - definitely not easy :(

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

vaccination day

Today was another vaccination day - they are not fun at all!  Bad mother that I am forgot all about giving my sweetie some paracetamol before leaving home for the appointment, but luckily I had some to give as soon as I realised :).  Poor little man gave the nurse a big smile as she reached into the fridge for the shot.  And then the agonising scream as the shot is administered...  But now all is well, with no side effects.

At least this time round he only required one shot, not looking forward to the next round in four weeks time when he needs more!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

first post

So I decided to blog again - my previous blog died a slow and painless death, but here's to this one lasting!  I guess, as before, I will be talking a little bit about pretty much anything, but things affecting my life the most would probably be focussed on most - I am a "new" mom to a gorgeous baby boy.  He was conceived through IVF due to infertility issues on my side.  Despite type 1 diabetes my pregnancy progressed very well (achieving great numbers and never before seen HbA1c-s!), but unfortunately I developed severe pre-eclampsia, and my boy was delivered via emergency c-section at 34 weeks.  He spent a couple of weeks in the NICU, but other than feeding issues was healthy.  I am now trying to be the best mom I can be, and get my numbers back under control (this is proving to be very difficult at the moment...).   That is the short version...