Monday, October 4, 2010

dreaded testing, bad bad CGMS, and weekend thoughts

So today I will go for the dreaded HbA1c - and I can honestly say I am not looking forward to it.  I am also not looking forward to the appointment where I need to discuss what has been happening with my numbers these past few months, how (when I am really honest with myself) I have been struggling to keep it all together, and how I am probably not eating the way I should be.  I can find a lot of things to blame, mostly the lack of time, but to be honest I have to start prioritising and making lists or something.  this weekend I had some real wonky numbers - nothing too bad, just strange peaking etc (watching the CGMS...).  I also realised late last week that the CGM, although a very useful tool, can be a little "too much".  As in too much information all of the time.  While I enjoy being able to have that close a look at my numbers, and having the opportunity to fix mistakes and really see and learn patterns, I became way too over eager to correct high blood sugars (or what I thought was leading up to very high numbers), causing a rebound low soon afterward.  I actually turned the sensor off for a few hours over the weekend after nearly a day of constant blood sugar yo-yoing...

The weekend was over way too quick.  I so much enjoy spending the time with my husband and son.  We had a picnic yesterday, but cut it a bit short when the weather turned a bit cold.  We have just a few weeks before the birthday too!  We have decided we may go away for the weekend.  No final plans yet.

I am battling a bit with a decision / non-decision at the moment.  I am registered to write an exam this year - I missed it last year due to the early arrival of C.  I thought that coping with just the exam this year would be fine - I cancelled my registration for the thesis earlier during the year.  But now that the date is arriving faster than I could ever have imagined I am starting to stress - way too much.  I know that I am the only one to blame for my lack of commitment - because that is really what it has been this year.  I keep blaming the fact that I have no time for anything, but as I mentioned before I really need to start working on that.  So now I am sitting here, contemplating just not writing it - because what is the point in wasting the next 4 weeks trying to study, when I know that it is probably not nearly enough time to manage it all.  I have been having a lot of internal battles about the course.  At times now getting really angry and frustrated (at myself) for even registering for the damn thing in the first place.  I HATE feeling this way.  Probably not helping with all the blood sugars struggles either!


Marcia (123 blog) said... Best Blogger Tips

I get the "no time" excuse. I coach time management and I still catch myself telling this lie.

Have you tried to do a time log to see where you waste time?

(mine is on the computer) - I spent 3 hours last night after gym, two of those were unnecessary.......

Good luck with your decision on the studies.

Kaitake said... Best Blogger Tips

Ah I'm classic for leaving things to the last minute too. I always thin, yeah, I've got loads of time to do [insert task here], then I wind up in a frantic last minute rush. It's so hard to project manage your own life eh!

Hopefully you can figure out if you have enough time and energy to commit to the exam, it sounds like a big deal. What are you studying (i know, you've probably told us all already, but I forgotted :P )

Best of luck with the decision :)