Monday, May 10, 2010

balancing life

It has been only a week and a half since my return to work, and already I have loads of respect for women around the world who do this.  Recently I read a comment on Facebook by someone (not actually in my friends list..) that it p!ss3s her off when people imply that stay at home moms don't do much, and that she believes it is the hardest job - being 24/7 with no holidays etc.  After 6 months at home with my boy I can agree with this statement.  She however did open a can of worms with her comment, because everyone's situation is different.  Not everyone can afford to stay at home.  And then - do moms who have to work have it harder?

I don't know - and I will stick to saying that everyone's situation is very different.  Unfortunately for me our situation does not allow for me to stay at home.  I am not even sure if that is what I would want, but I think that I would have liked to maybe still stay home with him until the end of this year.  Daycare/crèche etc. also has advantages.  Anyway, I have digressed from what I actually wanted to say....

In the week and a half I realised that it is going to be hard.  On top of work I had registered at University to complete my masters - I still have a thesis to complete (my masters included some coursework - which I have completed), and an exam I was not able to write last year due to my early delivery.  At the start of the year I thought that I may be able to make time for this, however I have realised that this is not the case.  I guess I can make time, but it would be at the expense of something - most likely time with my boy (which I am not willing to give up just yet), and would make it even less likely that I would have any time to myself.  After a lot of internal "conflict" I have decided to cancel this year.  What made it a little more difficult was that I had applied to my work to pay for the course - which they have for two years.  And not completing will have some financial implications to me - and this was a bit scary (and still is).  I really need to give that policy and documents a good read-through now to see what it means.  But for now I feel as though a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulder!  It has really been bothering me and stressing me out during the week hours of the mornings....  I have started the admin process, and now need to still contact the university to do the cancellation there.

I knew that life would change once I had my boy.  Everything changes, most importantly priorities.  Things that were once important no longer seem to be.  Life has changed - but this is by far the most exciting challenge.  I cannot imagine life without my boy - I'm not really sure how I got this far without him!


Nici said... Best Blogger Tips

I'm wondering how I will balance it all once my little one finally makes his appearance, too.

I have one class to go in my Masters and I will have to finish it in the fall ... just a few short months after his birth.

At least I will only be working part time then ...

Saffy said... Best Blogger Tips

I started reading and thought "OMG how is she going to do it?" and I think you've made a great decision, even with financial implications. I've had to make a similar call before and it hurt at the time, but I suspect that you want to give your best to your study AND spend time with your son, and unfortunately there's only 1 of you. I've thought about completing the 1 remaining paper in my postgrad while I'm at home but the reality is that the D doesn't sleep long enough for me to really get into it. I'd love to see a day in the life of a working mom at some point to see how it all fits in - I wonder what gets dropped to make it all work. Not judging, just curious because in 10 weeks I'm supposed to be back on the horse too. And yeah, life changes doesn't it? :)

sweets said... Best Blogger Tips

Saffy, it is hard. But is is doable - and people all around the world are doing it every day. the days do go by in a blur, and the time I am able to spend with him in the mornings and evenings are very precious. And weekends - great! What makes it difficult is that you have this job, you have your baby, and still you have everything else that needs to be done. Full time domestic help would be great - even though we don't even have a big place... Back at work my priorities have also changed - I knew this would happen, but not to what extent. I still enjoy what I do, and work does give me a bit of a break in some ways, but it is no longer that important - it pays the bills..

Nici, good luck with that last class!

Saffy said... Best Blogger Tips

So in terms of priorities, does it also affect how you feel about climbing the career ladder further? I think I've seen a bit of that with my colleagues. Some are incredibly capable but they seem to know that the trade off of bigger job/responsibility/income comes with other expectations. But you're right, people are doing it every day ;)

sweets said... Best Blogger Tips

It does. Maybe not for everyone. Although my job is still important to me, I know that I will not sacrifice in order to climb the ladder at the expense of my boy. What I do wonder about is how it is going to affect my work or progression, not in terms of how well I do my work etc., but in terms of the perceptions of those above me now that I am a mom. I think it is easier if your boss is a mom. Unfortunately in my case my executive, and her boss the director (also a woman) aren't... And even if you are willing to make certain sacrifices, only another mom would be able to understand what it is really like...

Saffy said... Best Blogger Tips

Indeed ;)